How do I waste time? Social Media!
You see, my thumbs have developed the athletic prowess of a marathon runner, tirelessly sprinting through the vast landscape of angry cat videos, food pictures, and dance challenges.
I’ve become a professional meme archaeologist, digging through layers of internet culture to unearth the funniest artifacts.
I can’t even count the number of times I’ve saved the world in online games, all while keeping up with the latest celebrity gossip and fashion trends. My screen time statistics are so impressive, they could win an Olympic gold medal. Yes, my friends, my talent for time-wasting is unparalleled!