“Look around, if nobody is following you, you are not a leader.”
— Leadership Class at Microsoft
Introduction
That quote cuts straight to the heart of leadership. It forces a simple question: if no one is learning from you, are you really leading?
Now bring that idea into the church.
If leadership is real only when people are following, then discipleship is at the center of leadership. It is how leaders actually lead.
So here is the tension we have to face:
If women are not allowed to disciple men, are they truly allowed to lead?
And if they are not allowed to lead in that way, can we honestly call it equality?
This is not just a modern debate. When we go back to the New Testament, we find something surprising.
Jesus and Paul were not cautious or passive on this issue.
For their time, they were progressive.
And if the church is meant to follow them, then the church should not lag behind culture on questions of dignity and calling.
It should lead.
Jesus: A Community Where Women Were Trusted
When we look at the life of Jesus, we do not see a leader who simply accepted the norms of His time.
We see a leader who quietly, but clearly, reshaped them.
Women were not pushed to the edge of His ministry. They were part of it.
The Gospel of Luke tells us that women traveled with Jesus and supported His work. Among them were Mary Magdalene, Joanna, and Susanna. These were not distant observers. They were committed followers.
This alone would have raised eyebrows.
But Jesus goes further.
Mary of Bethany sits at His feet and listens. That posture matters. It is the posture of a disciple. When her sister Martha questions this, Jesus does not correct Mary. He defends her.
He affirms her place as a learner.
Then we come to the resurrection.
The moment everything turns.
And who is there first?
Women.
They are the first to see the empty tomb. The first to hear the news. The first to carry the message.
In a culture where a woman’s testimony was often discounted, Jesus places the most important truth in their hands.
That is not accidental.
It shows trust.
It shows inclusion.
It shows that the community around Jesus was not divided into separate tracks of importance.
Paul: Leadership Through Shared Discipleship
As the church begins to grow, we see this same pattern continue through Paul.
His letters are not abstract. They are relational. They name people who are doing the work of the church.
And many of those people are women.
Phoebe is called a deacon and trusted to carry the letter to the Romans.
Lydia opens her home and becomes a center for the church in her city.
Euodia and Syntyche are called co-workers in the gospel.
But one example stands above the rest for this conversation.
Priscilla.
Priscilla, along with her husband Aquila, meets a man named Apollos. He is already educated. He is already teaching. But his understanding is incomplete.
So what do they do?
They take him aside and explain the way of God more accurately.
This is not a small moment.
A woman is directly involved in discipling a man who is already a teacher.
There is no apology in the text. No sign that this is unusual. No warning that this is risky.
It is simply how the church grows.
Paul even calls people like Priscilla his co-workers. That word matters. It shows shared responsibility, shared mission, and shared authority in the work of the gospel.
This is not a model of separation.
It is a model of partnership.
Jesus and Paul Were Progressive in Their Time
It is easy to forget just how different this was.
In the ancient world, women were often limited in public roles. Their voices carried less weight. Their access to formal teaching was restricted.
But Jesus and Paul did not build their communities around those limits.
They moved beyond them.
Not loudly.
Not with slogans.
But with action.
They taught women.
They trusted women.
They worked alongside women.
In doing so, they pushed the boundaries of their culture.
Which leads to a hard question for us.
If they were willing to lead forward in their time, what does it mean if the church today chooses to step back?
If Women Can’t Disciple Men, What Kind of Equality Is That?
Now we return to the central question.
Many churches today would say they believe in the value and dignity of women. Many would say they support women in ministry.
But when it comes to discipleship, a line is often drawn.
Women disciple women.
Men disciple men.
At first, this can sound wise. It can feel safe.
But we need to ask a deeper question.
If leadership is proven by discipleship, and discipleship is limited by gender, then leadership is limited by gender.
And if leadership is limited by gender, then equality is also limited.
This is not about removing wisdom or ignoring real concerns.
It is about asking whether our current model reflects what we say we believe.
The Early Church as a Family
The early church did not think of itself as separate groups.
It thought of itself as a family.
Men and women were brothers and sisters. They shared life together. They shared meals, homes, and mission.
This did not mean there were no boundaries.
It meant that relationships were shaped by something deeper than fear.
Honor.
Respect.
Love.
In a healthy family, people learn from each other. Growth is shared. Responsibility is shared.
The early church lived that way.
What Should It Look Like Today?
If the church is meant to lead, not follow, then it cannot simply adopt the safest model. It must pursue the most faithful one.
That means recovering shared discipleship.
Not reckless relationships.
Not hidden relationships.
But open, healthy, community-based discipleship where men and women can learn from one another.
This requires:
Transparency. Relationships should not be secret.
Community. Discipleship should happen in the context of others.
Honor. Men and women should treat each other as family.
Wisdom. Leaders must pay attention and care well for people.
The goal is not to remove boundaries.
The goal is to build the kind of relationships that make shared discipleship possible.
Final Thought
If nobody is following you, you are not a leader.
That truth applies to everyone in the church.
Men and women.
If we believe women are called, gifted, and equal in value, then we have to ask whether we are allowing them to fully lead.
Because leadership is not just a title.
It is discipleship.
And if women cannot disciple men, then we are left with a final question we cannot avoid:
Is that really equality?
Leave a Reply